Inebriated Mentally Challenged Primates Corporation International Limited

Who We Are

IMCP Corp Intl Ltd is dedicated to providing gainful employment to all primates, regardless of their intellectual capacity. Frequently used in the construction trades and information technology sectors, our talented group consumes only the top grades of wine and beer to maintain their intoxicated states.

Facts about the Company

  • we employ monkeys, baboons, gorillas, orangutans, and chimpanzees. We are currently looking into hiring gibbons.
  • our employees consume enough beer in one day to fill 2 olympic size swimming pools
  • no employee is allowed onto a job site without a blood alcohol level of at least .10
  • our employees are encouraged to be creative, so we do not allow them to be restricted by things such as instruction manuals and blueprints. All employees must demonstrate that they are functionally illiterate during the hiring process.
  • most people believe primates eat bananas. This is in fact false. Our apes consume painkillers almost exclusively.